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NEWSLETTER

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Integrative Therapy, Healing, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter from an Energy, Spiritual and Posiitve Psychology Perspective. (Summer 2003, Issue 63)

 
by Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D
Director: Foundation for Energy and Spiritual Healing, and Coaching and the Foundation for Well-Being
P.O. Box 627
Plymouth Meeting, Pa. 19462 (suburb of Philadelphia)
610-828-4674
http://www.integrativehelp.com/
http://www.philipfriedman.com/
http://www.energyspirit.com/

You can read this and earlier newsletters on the internet at:
http://www.integrativehelp.com/newsletter.asp

You can email me at: integrativehelp@aol.com

To subscribe to the FREE Integrative Therapy, Healing, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter from an Energy, Spiritual and Positive Psychology Perspective send an email message to:

CreatingWellBeing-on@lists.webvalence.com and put subscribe in the subject line.

(c) All rights reserved

WELCOME TO THE: “INTEGRATIVE THERAPY, HEALING, COACHING AND WELL-BEING NEWSLETTER FROM AN ENERGY, SPIRITUAL AND POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY PERSPECTIVE”.

I want to thank the over 1200 plus members of this List from 6 continents and everyone who has ordered my book, audiotapes, manual and the Friedman Scales from my new web site at:

http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html

GRATITUDE:

I am grateful to all the spiritual Masters on the planet who offer their love, compassion, grace, wisdom and blessings to spiritual seekers and to the world, especially this week to the divine fathers who I have had the opportunity to spend some time with .


CONTENTS:
A. MORE ON THE CATALYST: THE TRIAD OF THERAPY; HEALING AND COACHING
B. RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT AND CHANGE
C. GRATITUDE LETTER
D. INTEGRATIVE HEALING MANUAL AND IMAGERY HEALING TECHNIQUES
E. TELEPHONE COACHING SESSIONS

FRIEDMAN HEALING TECHNIQUES
In previous months I discussed the following
ENERGY/SPIRITUAL HEALING TECHNIQUES which are described in my INTEGRATIVE HEALING MANUAL.

A) ACT (renamed the ACTIVE CHOICE TECHNIQUE)
B) CART (CREATING AND RECEIVING TECHNIQUE)
C) HEART (HEALING AND RELEASE TECHNIQUE);
D) LIGHT (LIGHT IMAGERY GRATEFUL HEART TECHNIQUE).
E) MATT (renamed the MIRACLE ACTIVATION TRIGGER
TECHNIQUE)
F) TASTE (renamed the TRIGGER AND SOFT TOUCH TECHNIQUE)

and POWERFUL IMAGERY HEALING TECHNIQUES ON AUDIOCASSETTE.

1. RELAXATION AND MEDITATION
2. CREATING AND MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT
3. BRIEF AND ADVANCED FORM OF MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT
4. FORGIVENESS
5. INNER JOURNEY TO THE HIGHER SELF
6. SELF-ESTEEM
7. GRATITUDE
8. SUNDAY (HEALING MUSIC)

See http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html
See http://www.integrativehelp.com/healing_techniques.html

A. THE CATALYST: THE TRIAD OF THERAPY; HEALING AND COACHING

In my 2 previous newsletters I introduced the idea of the *CATALYST*; someone who has the skills, abilities, resources and talents to catalyze change and profound “shifts” in people’s lives in 3 key areas (the triad): therapy; healing and coaching. A “CATALYST” has integrated a powerful set of tools, techniques, orientations and approaches to maximize change drawn from cognitive, behavioral, psychodynamic, relationship systems, energy, spiritual and positive psychology. This issue of the newsletter will focus on relationship assessment and change contributions to the “Catalytic Triad”


B. RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE and RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS

In 2001 I participated in a seminar by John Gottman, Ph.D author of many books on marital and relationship theory and therapy. Using 10 of the relationship/marital scales Dr Gottman gave us at that workshop I constructed a RELATIONSHIP BALANCE
SCALE that can be easily administered and scored with a 100 point range, i.e, 0-100. The
RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE consists of 5 Positive Scales (Fondness/Admiration; Turning Towards vs Away from Your Partner: Accepting Influence; Compromise; and Repair Efforts) and 5 Negative Scales (Harsh Start-Up; Negative Perspective; Emotional Disengagement/Loneliness; Gridlock and The 4 Horseman also known as Criticism, Contempt, Condemnation and Stonewalling). Previously I reported (i.e., in the 2001 study) that the RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE correlated in a sample of 32 clients (married or living together for 1 year or more, though mostly married) .92 with a RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS scale. The likelihood of this being a chance occurrence is 1 in 10,000. The RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE also correlated .91 with a relationship affection subscale, .90 with a relationship communication subscale, .87 with a relationship cohesion subscale and .76 with a lack of negativity in the relationship subscale.

I have recently repeated this study with a sample of 50 clients (married, living together for 1 year or more, though mostly married; or married and separated within the last 6 months) . The results showed that the RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS SCALE correlated in the 2003 study .86 with the RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE scale. The likelihood of this being a chance occurrence is again 1 in 10,000. The RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE also correlated .91 with a relationship affection subscale, .80 with a relationship communication subscale, and .87 with a combined relationship cohesion subscale and a lack of negativity in the relationship subscale. The likelihood of all of these findings in the 2003 study being a chance occurrence is again 1 in 10,000. These findings therefore replicate the results from the 2001 study.

At that time (2001) the happily relating couples had an average RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 88 out of 100; unhappily relating couples that were living together had an average RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 51 out of 100 and unhappily relating couples that were separated had a RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 35 out of a 100. The 2 unhappily relating groups of couples together had a RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 44. The likelihood of this being a chance occurrence is 1 in 10000.

In the both RELATIONSHIP STUDIES the most UNHAPPILY MARRIED OR
RELATING COUPLES were very high on: HARSH START-UP; NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE; GRIDLOCK; EMOTIONAL FLOODING; EMOTIONAL DISENGAGEMENT/LONELINESS; LEADING PARALLEL LIVES; the FOUR HORSEMAN (CONTEMPT, CRITICISM, DEFENSIVENESS AND STONEWALLING) and the LIKELIHOOD OF SEPARATION/DIVORCE.

The HAPPILY MARRIED OR RELATING COUPLES in both studies were very low
on the above subscales and very high on FONDNESS/ADMIRATION; LOVE MAPS; TURNING TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER; ACCEPTING INFLUENCE FROM YOUR PARTNER: WILLINGNESS TO ENGAGE IN COMPROMISE: REPAIR EFFORTS;
and WILLINGNESS TO WORK THINGS OUT while the unhappily married or relating couples were very low on these scales.

In the current study (2003) the 5 most happily relating couples (10 people) had an average RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 93 out of 100, and the 5 most unhappily relating couples (10 people) that were either living together or separated had an average RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE score of 41 out of 100. The likelihood of this being
a chance occurrence is again 1 in 10000. This also replicates the previous results.

Collectively the RELATIONSHIP BALANCE SCALE (5 positive and 5 negative measures) differentiates the happily relating from the unhappily relating couples most effectively. The 2 individual relationship scales that differentiated the 2 groups most sharply in both studies were fondness/admiration in the positive direction and emotional disengagement in the negative direction. (Incidentally, what I consider the most reliable correlate of personal WELL-BEING is COGNITIVE-AFFECTIVE BALANCE, which is the ratio of positive beliefs and feelings divided by the sum of positive beliefs and feelings plus negative beliefs and feelings.) BALANCE, therefore, both personally and relationally, is therefore, the key to high levels of relationship and personal happiness and well-being.

All of the RELATIONSHIP SCALES (both the Gottman ones and others I have constructed or use) can also be used to track change session by session with couples.
Needless to say, any set of relationship intervention techniques: such as those developed by the cognitive-behavioral (Neil Jacobsen; Howard Markman); emotionally focused (Susan Johnson); relationship enhancement (Bernard Guerney); emotional connection (John Gottman); imago (Harville Hendrix); multi-modal (Arnold Lazarus); solution-oriented (Michelle Weiner-Davis); mars and venus (John Gray); energy repatterning (Paul/Layne Cartwright); or spiritual (Henry Grayson) relationship schools etc. need to greatly increase Fondness/Admiration; Turning Towards vs Away from Your Partner: Accepting Influence, Compromise; and Repair Efforts and greatly decrease Harsh Start-Up; Negative Perspective; Emotional Disengagement/Loneliness; Gridlock and The 4 Horseman also known as Criticism, Contempt, Condemnation and Stonewalling in couples. Since I have extensive training in 6-7 of the above approaches and have integrated them along with the energy/spiritual approaches, I call my approach. IRC, i.e., integrative relationship catalyzing (which combines psychotherapy, healing and coaching) or integrative energy/spiritual relationship catalyzing. IESRC.

In the simplest terms relationship interventions from therapy, healing and coaching methods (the Catalytic Triad) have to substantially increase love, affection, admiration, forgiveness, gratitude, understanding and respect and decrease attack, avoidance/withdrawal; grievances/judgments, fear, denial and guilt. The newer energy and spiritual interventions such as TFT;EFT;TAT; BSFF; SK; MATRIX; MATT; HEART; LIGHT; FORGIVE etc can be used as powerful additions (though mostly individually focused) to the more traditional approaches to relationship work, especially when an integrative approach to helping couples is being used.

C . RECEIVING GRATITUDE:
I RECENTLY RECEIVED THIS EMAIL OUT OF THE BLUE.
(Reprinted with permission)
“Dr. Friedman:
My name is Patrice Lloyd & 22 years ago, I was your client (Patti Bender then!!). You certainly, had a huge influence on me. If you recall, you introduced me to "The Course In Miracles", Siddha Yoga, the Insight Program and numerous cognitive- behavioral techniques. I look a lot like Bette Midler if that helps jar a memory & moved from Philadelphia because I was off to be an actress ???

Well, I voraciously continued to do personal growth work & am now the director of MADD in Denver & a Certified Addictions Counselor III & have facilitated groups for 13 years. I am now changing paths & want to do Energy Psychology & am beginning the study of Somatic Archaeology amongst other disciplines. Tonight, I was doing an internet search & found you as a link on one of the sites. I had to contact you & thank you for being a mentor to me so many years ago!!!!!! I remember you commenting how impressed you were that I was so willing to try WHATEVER YOU SUGGESTED. I also remember you as a very kind man & just wanted you to know that you made a huge impact on my life!!!!! It is so nice to be able to share these thoughts with you as I enter a new phase of my life!!

You never know ... maybe I will take one of your classes & I will see you again (now as a 44 year old vs. the funky 22 year old that was your client!!!!)”

Best wishes,
Patrice

***It is so gratifying to hear that after so many years your work has had a positive impact on the lives of other people. No doubt many of you have had similar experiences as either the giver or receiver of gratitude. I am certainly grateful to Patrice for having shared her thoughts and feelings with me. Have you shared your gratitude with someone recently? Why don’t you do that this week either by snail mail (letter), email, telephone or in person. Write a one page summary of what you are grateful for and who you are to. Then deliver that message by one of the above mentioned forms of communication.

D. INTEGRATIVE HEALING MANUAL AND IMAGERY HEALING TECHNIQUES

This Integrative Healing Manual first describes the COPERS and BETSI-HI model of Well-Being followed by a section on motivation and the 7 step re-empowerment process. This is followed by sections on the 12 step creation and manifestation process; the 7 step alphabet of change; the 11 step forgiveness process; and processes for working with the 5 subscales of well-being: emotional stability; self-esteem/self-confidence; joyfulness; sociability and happiness. Then there is a section on 30 daily lessons for creating high levels of well-being. A variety of energy and spiritual healing techniques are next discussed such as the Creating, Allowing and Receiving Technique (CART); the Miracle Acupressure Tapping Technique (MATT-Versions 1, 2 and 3) which includes the Psychological Uplifter, the Brain Balancer or 9 Gamut Technique and the Forgiveness Affirmations. This is followed by the MATT Parts Integration Technique (MMPIT) developed by Lynne Namka; the Acupressure Chakra Technique (ACT) and the Tap and Soft Touch Energy Technique (TASTE). The next section of the manual describes
the Healing and Release Technique (HEART) and the Light Imagery Grateful Heart Technique (LIGHT). Finally the manual presents and describes the Secrets of Wealth, Wisdom and Well-Beings, Parts 1 through 5.

The Creating Well-Being Guided Imagery Tapes are a set of 8 powerful guided imagery plus music tapes that enhance deep relaxation; facilitate contact with a source of inner wisdom: help you create and manifest what you want in life; forgive yourself and others; learn how to be grateful etc..
The tapes alone can facilitate a major transformation in your life if listened to regularly.

See http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html
See http://www.integrativehelp.com/healing_techniques.html

E. TELEPHONE COACHING SESSIONS

The 5 Free telephone coaching client sessions are completed. (These sessions were valued at $125 per 30 minute session). I will share with you in a future newsletter the grateful emails I received from doing them. If you would be interested in 1 FREE coaching session in exchange for 1 paid coaching session send me an email at coachwell1@aol.com, briefly describe what issues you would be like to be coached on and what your goals for the next 30, 90 and 365 days are. Thank you.

GIVE A GIFT TO A FRIEND!
We appreciate your forwarding this newsletter to your friends and colleagues, since your recommendation is how we grow. To subscribe to the FREE Integrative Therapy, Healing, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter send an email message to: CreatingWellBeing-on@lists.webvalence.com

Copyright (c) 2003, all rights reserved. Permission is granted
to copy or distribute the FREE Integrative Therapy, Healing, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter is Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D. Contact him by email at: integrativehelp@aol.com or for integrative therapy, integrative healing or integrative coaching (the Catalyst Triad) send an email to Coachwell1@.com or Integrativehelp@aol.com or call 1-610-828-4674.
Please contact the author for permission if you would like to post this information on any web site or other source. Thank you.

 

 

 

 
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